It's so overwhelming. I've been on the site for an hour now and it seems amerihekTh doesn't like to update their directory because one agency doesn't exist yet and one person is retired and another just does addictions...it also seems that it's the same pdocs at multiple locations. Some are in the city so that's not an option either bc I'm not good in the city, I get too nervous and anyway I have too many students that live there and possibly receive care from those places.

I don't know. I don't want to go to therapy. I hate therapy. I think it makes me worse when I have someone there because I become all clingy. I start exaggerating moods. I test the limits. I try to get them to commit me to see if they will, to find it if they are trustworthy. It's disgusting, really, how childish I become. But it seems like most of the pdocs around here are parts of organizations that require you to be in therapy before they will do med management. So far three of them have stipulated as much.

I dunno. I know I have to go to sleep. So I guess I'll do that.