I can't say I normally have these thoughts in my head. Normally, I am ambivalent or ambiguous-- I tend to be more neutral than anything, unless I am on one of my ups or downs.

Though, recently, noticing a few things, I've began to feel a few strange feelings I am not used to. First of all, I have been having some... hard times. Normally, I tend to ignore if those around me have fallen into better luck or events.

Though, recently, it's been biting into me. Jealously or envy isn't something I want to admit to, but I cannot deny it, nor do I even wish to hide it. I am beginning to hold negative emotions for those who succeed more than me. It's not like my opinion truly matters-- they're already more successful, and my opinion won't change anything.

I've always noticed, subsequently, how little value I hold. I rate myself below others, due to the cocktail of nasty traits I hold, and the fact that I don't hold a favorable amount of useful traits, skills, or anything of intrinsic value.

Second, is the feelings of anger over being overlooked. I thank everyone who pays attention to me. It is as though I have this aura around me that others despise, and prefer to stay away from.

As a simple example, I frequent a forum for a game I play. In the forums, there is a section where you can make suggestions, and get feedback from others. I have made multiple suggestions, expounding upon my ideals and putting genuine effort into my works.

I get nothing but one comment on the name of my ideal. Others who put an equal amount of work in get several degrees more of popularity, and I can accept that. However, others that put less effort than I, sometimes even slapping their ideas together, get several degrees of feedback than me, and that really makes me feel bad.

Even when it comes to other things, I am overlooked for others, generally. Even on forums like these, I write detailed posts on my issues and advice I want, and I will get a generous 4 people commenting on my posts, which I greatly appreciate.

Then, one person, it doesn't matter, comes along and, despite their reasoning, they get more empathy, sympathy, feedback, and response than I do. I used to hold negative feelings for such people, but I tend to blame myself more.

This has not impacted me in positive ways-- It has drastically lowered the value at once I hold myself, which wasn't much to begin with. To be honest, out of everyone, I am the biggest piece of **** I know.

Though, I have mixed emotions about posting this, as I feel I will seem rather whiny and begging for attention-- and it even shows off more bad traits about me, but if I had joined this website and posted nothing, that'd be a waste, now, wouldn't it?