You are not alone. I think alcohol and drugs go hand in hand with BP (for most). I think our use or non-use are affected by our mood state of BP. In my late teens I had the occasional drink, used weed and on occasions coke.

Got married at 21 and made the decision that in order to be a good and functioning husband I needed to eliminate the drugs from my life. I did not eliminate alcohol, I was an occasional drinker, beer or two before dinner, maybe a glass of wine. But I did not drink after dinner, just went about my regular routine. Often went periods of 6-8 months of not drinking. (I did that to prove to myself I did not need it)

I swore to myself I would never touch another drug in my life. Went drug free for 13 years. Started having problems with work and my marriage (looking back the problems were not with my work or my marriage), the problems were with me. I went 9 years being stable, mild mania and mild depression at times, but for the most part "normal."

I started that dreadful slide downhill to the place we have all been and turned to Coke because I thought it could bring me back and elevate me back to the place I was and had enjoyed for the past 9 years. I was doing so much coke I made Al Pacino in Scareface look like an amateur. Needless to say I bottomed out.

Been drug free for about four years, but my alcohol use has increased over the past four years from 1-2 drinks a night, to 4-5 drinks a night, to a few shots in the morning, a few shot at lunch and a few bottles of wine or a bottle of Bourbon at night. The past year has been a crazy ride...I can go 3-4 days without a drink, but when I decided to have a drink with dinner or friends it basically turns into a 2-3 day full on bender.

I think the hardest part is very similar to the the hardest part of BP and that is acceptance. I think you guys can all relate to this, the hardest part of my BP was accepting and admitting to myself that I am Bipolar. I fought it ever step of the way. Once I finally accepted and admitted to myself then began the road to dealing with my condition.

My latest bender lasted 3 days. I woke up the next morning and looked in the mirror and finally said to myself "Dude, you are an alcoholic." Oddly enough, it was a sigh of relief. Have not had a drink in 7 days and have really not had the desire.

Sorry for the long post but thought the background would help. In short alcohol and drugs can and are a huge problem for folks with BP. The most important first step is admitting this fact to ourselves.

This info is dated but provided me with some interesting spastics.

Bipolar Disorder and Alcoholism