I usually cut when I'm on the road to feeling very suicidal. It makes me feel better and better each day after I've cut. Doctors say it's the adrenaline that we become addicted to. But there's something more there. I feel like it flips a switch in my head. It says lots of things. It says now my pain is real. A physical thing I can see. It says that I've done penance for my bad thoughts and behavior. It says that I'm strong and can handle the pain and the mental issue of cutting myself. There's way more to it than even that. It's not just an addiction, it's salvation.