I would agree wih mixed state except as I mentioned I have had no energy changes. In a mixed State I am extremely agitated and cannot sit still. Nor can I sleep. I've been sleeping fine. I don't know what's happening.

I am not okay today. I can't stop thinking about what I did and it makes me sick to think about it. I feel like I don't even deserve to eat but I'm eating anyway. Ugh. Today I'm definitely depressed but at least there's a reason, and anyway I deserve to suffer.

I decided to return to my previous agency. I can't handle looking for a new place and I can't go on like this. I could do something terrible. More terrible. I'm going for the walk in on Friday.

Wing, abilify is a) too expensive and b) doesn't help me. It just keeps me in a depression.