I think you just needed to talk in your post because you felt violated some by someone you trusted deeply. your manager was not trying to hurt you. she expected you to succeed in your first day. she wanted you to see that you could do it. she was not expecting you to burn the ham. but what she also showed you was that you could make a big mistake and it wasn't a big deal. that things were flexible enough to work around any mistakes and things would still work out and she wouldn't be mad at you and the world would not crumble down around you. everything would work out just fine. unfortunately you had to experience an extreme amount of anxiety to learn that lesson. but now you know it for next time and wont have to get anxious again. now you can just breathe and enjoy yourself. take care.