I too am very sorry you are feeling this way. If I may I would like to share some of my story with you. I am almost in the same boat as you. I hurt my back about 2 1/2 years ago and have been struggling ever since. I have 5 children that depend on me for support and a wife that does her best to hold things together. I have lost a house, and a few other things in all this. The 6th of this mth I tried to end it all. I over doused on my pain meds. I can very close to dyeing. Had it not been for some quick things on the part of my loved ones I would not be here today. Going to that mental hospital was a God send. They detoxed me off the pain meds and got me on something for my Bipolar, PTSD, esc esc. I am feeling much better now. They also got me in touch with people that are now helping me and my family. So I'm begging you, Please go check yourself in somewhere. Let them help you. You will feel better for it. We here can only help you so much, but you have to understand that only you can make you happy. You have to take care of yourself before you can even think about caring for anyone else. If you not ready to make that leap of faith, please at least call 211. You will find people there that are willing to help and really care about helping you. I hope this finds you better and ready to make the changes to take your life back. I know you can do it.

With all the love and support I can give,
Clemfan