Hi, really sorry but I'm from the UK so you're going to have to fill me in on "MRT". Might have something similar here but not with those letters. Anyway sounds like a real commitment going there, as you'd like to be able to push past what's making it difficult to do whatever it is you're supposed to be doing for it. Sometimes just throwing yourself into someting, not giving yourself a chance to back out can help.
But as well you may need to give yourself a break here and there, because sometimes even "small" looking things CAN BE impossible when you're feeling really depressed. And that's not about you not doing well enough, it's all about the depression.
And you know maybe you should be thinking "how well/much do I HAVE to confront these problems, right here, right now?" if things are really tough.
But I really don't think that there's anything wrong with admitting that something is up. Maybe think of it a bit like if you had a broken leg you'd get medial attention or some help wouldn't you? And I really aren't meaning to trivialize how you're feeling but nothing wrong with getting help when you need it.
But of course we're still here for you too......concerned, caring about you/how you are and here to offer any support at all we can. And thank you for sharing with me.
Alison