why you feel so, if I may ask?

I call my troubles "trauma issues". PTSD is such desanitized abreviation... and as I said, I don't like to feel myself as "disordered" for reacting badly to bad ****. That is being... human. Not that it's not painful... but it's like saying "your broken leg hurts! You are so disordered! You should be able to shrug it off".

Imho, often pain, whenever physical or emotional is signal that something is wrong. And it's part of human life. Some things are supposed to hurt.