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i didn't think that i had an hour's worth of stuff to talk about, but i did. i left the doctor's office with a referral to a psychologist who is to "formally" diagnose me with bipolar disorder to then be referred to a psychiatrist who will take me from there. my doctor told me i exhibited everything that would be required to confirm a diagnosis, but she didn't want to travel outside her field (she's just my general doctor). i called the psychologist today and hopefully will hear back from them within the next couple of days to make an appointment and get this show on the road. I'm at a loss for words right now. I'm relieved to have a name and somewhat of a face to what has been causing me so much trouble lately, but its so surreal. i never thought i would have a mental illness. much less one that requires medicines in order to function "normally". whatever that is anyways.. my doctor didn't go into much detail (once again, not her field of expertise) so I'm just left sitting with so many questions until the psychologist calls me back to make an appointment. and what am i going to say to a counselor? isn't that for people who need to talk things out? what am i going to talk out? there's no reasonable explanation for why i feel like i can take on the world sometimes and theres no reasonable explanation as to why sometimes I'm so depressed i can't get out of bed. there's no logic behind it. so how do i talk that out with someone?
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do what you can, with what you have, where you are
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