I know what you mean, i would put my hand on open electric circuitry to spark something, anything to change. I am so bored with everything in life. i just want to know i'm making a change, a difference in anyone's life. and i wish i can be less sensitive - i don't want to feel anymore. i mean i can't even kill a spider or other insect, i'm too pathetic, i feel bad for taking their lives, i need to find a way to get harder, so feel less. i mean i see a dead kitten by the side of the road and I cry. who does that? that's not normal and no way to survive life. how can i get less sensitive? how can i feel less? because if it overloads i just feel nothing, which is better but also not good cause i make bad decisions then. i just don't get how we ended up here? what is the meaning of all this? or are we just in a simms game? no reason, just next crisis.
i appreciate your response, change is good, i'm working on that