I know my trouble is self-esteem. But it's impossible to see past it 99% of the time. Right now it's especially bad because I have had a difficult week. And the negative thoughts and emotions are more powerful right now. I've been having nightmares because I've been so stressed and overwhelmed. And in a weird and twisted way, I feel abandoned by my T because we are meeting tomorrow instead of today. But I was the one who changed the day because I'm going to a concert tonight. So I am being irrational and ridiculous in so many ways right now. It's just difficult to handle at the moment.