You are making sense, thanks, it helps to have some confirmation that i'm not a total lunatic thinking up crazy stuff. I've always felt I expect too much of life, which is why i'm always disappointed - things never turn out the way they're supposed to. There is no happily ever after and there is no true friend and anything else that you may find in books or movies or ads. or maybe, just maybe those things are just not meant for me but exists for other/better people who deserve it. I might be just on of the unknown extras in this move called life.