I' m sorry I don't have suggestions to help how you are feeling right now.
I just wanted to say that this type of exchange happens a lot with me and my T. Lots of times, I end up feeling misunderstood and confused. When I'm able to bring it up in person and ask him to elaborate on what he was thinking and feeling with his response, I often discover that we weren't really so far apart. I usually say something profound like "I don't get it."
When T isn't getting it, he does his reflecting back what I just said thing and then I can clarify. His way is probably better. I'd start by saying everything you did in your post and let her respond.
Good luck.