I wish it WAS a mood episode because at least then there would be a reason. usually when I say it I get a bunch of quick smirks around the room for comfromation that I'm wrong and in an episode. You have never said or done anything here that would indicate you are s ***** IRL.

What if I'm just a nasty, hateful person inside? then the people around you would not be there. You wouldn't have to leave anyone because everyone would have left you a long time ago.
T
Therapy maybe a good option but tell them what you have experienced with attachment in regards to therapy first.