Thorn, I'm sorry but you annoy the hell out of me. I've had to deal with and let go of a Narc.....I've listened and been helped with the Vids from Sam Vaknins and have found his words for the most part, to be dead on in my experience. It seems to me, from what I've read that you just want to thrash yourself over and over again, and never ever listen to anyone's answers. Some have stopped trying to help you because you are terribly frustrating. Yes, YOU, are frustrating.

I'm not sure anymore what it is you want to achieve, with your posts. First it is to 'understand' your mate, then it is to learn how to 'live' with your mate who is NPD (but from what I've read has not been diagnosed actually)......I believe you love him. But I think it's not about him anymore. It's about you.

And that is the most annoying thing. Especially for those of us who are just trying to move on. You're the visceral witness to wounds. And for no good purpose because you are never satisfied with what you're told.

Give it a rest. Stop probing... stop complaining. You, by your own admission have studied so much regarding NPD...you should be a master. So accept it. Or don't. But stop torturing yourself and by extension anyone who's lived thru a relationship with a NPD.

I respect what they are....I weep for what they could have been. I accept what they are and will always be. I wonder......are you sure you're not feeding off of it, less than you are trying to...understand it?????????

Just my question. I'm sure you'll have a boat load of anger to respond....but it will take away the sting of what you're living with....which I think is the point of your posts. We numb it...................it's still there, but when you can post your questions, your endless repetitive questions......we numb it. I feel almost as bad for you as I do for the NPD I ran away from.

You're not much different.