MM - I guess you're right - something must be ok about me bc I do have a husband so I must have been nice at some point, even if I'm not anymore.

Hamster - thank you for the suggestions. I used to volunteer/foster kittens when I was a teenager and it helped a lot to keep me from going to the hospital because I would just think - what would happen to the cats? Anyway I couldn't foster right now but maybe I could just clean the cages on a Saturday or Sunday morning. That's only like an hour of time and gives me a commitment. I'll think about it.

Today I feel more agitated, more energized. It's possible my lethargy was due to the flu like virus I suffered from. Or I'm just making **** up again. You know? Like you all said mixed so now my mind is going to create a mixed state because I how awful I am and how needy I am.

I dunno. Woke up with music playing in my head which tends to indicate an episode. I dot know and I don't care. I could try my Seroquel for a little bit I just have to be willing to take on the sleepiness that accompanies it.

Thanks everyone for your help. This is why I come here!