RecentDiscovery, Thanks, I guess she does think so. I kind of wish I hadn't said anything but i'm still more glad that I did than didn't.

MonkeyBrains, I totally get it. Growing up I was encouraged to share my feelings - but then I was made to feel wrong for sharing them. *sigh* Yeah, when I first shared the letter, I'd considered not even going to the next session and she said she too was afraid I would not show up because of the things in it. But I did, and i'm glad I did - and now, six months later, we're actually talking about the things in the letter. I know that you and your T will work through those immediate feelings as well, and I hope that you feel your burden get lighter. I, too, tend to stop remembering tough things (another coping mechanism) though I've been doing much better about it this week specifically, unfortunately I don't know a solution to that one.

MonaLisaSmile, when you mentioned the 'loss of innocence' above all things - that is exactly a good way to determine part of what I feel. Like she was able to see me for all of the pathetic person I was and am and it was all completely open and there for her to see. There was nothing nice she could have said to make me feel otherwise but perhaps, in time, I will feel the freedom of the secret being released; just not feeling it yet. I do agree though that had I rushed into this, I wouldn't have been able to handle it even on this level.

Seekersinking, Hi. I think in order to avoid feeling vulnerable, I blocked all the feelings but the anger is the one thing that I just can't seem to contain. I do know now that my anger is directed at myself. Question, how did you get over the hurt? What did you do during those several days when the pain was so loud?

RTerroni,