Why do i always feel the need to be able to have someone to talk to in person? Yet... that person can never be someone my age, always older.

Why do i always need reassurance if i'm upset, always wanting someone to give me a hug and let me know they care?

Why do i always feel bad about the things i'm feeling? Like i'm doing something wrong, or hurting someone else by feeling this way?

Why am i so attached to the people in my life that are almost impossible for me to keep in contact with?

Why does my mind always seem to find its way back to all these thoughts whenever i'm not doing anything? ... or even when i am?

Why am i so scared of myself and how i'm feeling? Scared of letting everyone down (myself included) ... scared of being a disappointment or burden to everyone?

Why do i feel like i'm making everything up? Like nothing is real, like i'm doing this for attention when thats really the last thing i want?

Why can't i tell my T about any of this ... i feel so ashamed.