I have come up with a working theory that I hope to get some validation on soon and I just wanted your opinions. I did the research on bipolar and did lots and lots of self-observation to come up with this conclusion.

I've known I've had BPD for some time. I am very reactive to people around me, I misinterpret body language and voice as being against me, I develop extreme attachments, look at things in black and white, and have extreme abandonment issues...all textbook BPD. The thing is, my BPD issues in some cases last forever, literally months in some cases. I will have relationship issues and be abandoned, BPD all the way, but what would last several days to maybe several weeks in a "regular" BPD will last for months and months and develop in to a monster during that time. My thinking is this: the BPD causes chemicals to develop in the brain and it turns in to bipolar and the two run in to one another making it look like one gigantic problem when it's actually two.

Another thing, and this happens pretty frequently. This would require fast cycling bipolar, within 12 hours or so, but it makes perfect sense and there's a definite pattern. I will be triggered by something someone says or something that happens around me, once again pure BPD, and I will start dwelling on it. Nothing really amiss there that couldn't be explained by BPD. Then I will go to sleep and overnight it will turn in to a monster that will last from a half day to several days. Several weeks ago, my husband said something before he left for work that made me feel extremely guilty and I dwelled on it the rest of the day and in to the night. Then I went to sleep. When I awoke, I started thinking of other times he'd made me feel guilty (part PTSD as well) and I started feeling out of control and trapped. I felt that I had to get away and had no where to go and that made the suicidal thoughts hit very quickly and very strong. It lasted about a half day or so, and with the help of a friend I was able to eventually come down from it, but it was horrible. I'm thinking it started out as BPD but overnight bipolar took over.

I do have several times in my memory of going through "episodes" of depression having manic-like issues with no cause, or reason, but they are few and far between, and I also know of a time I was put on antidepressants during a period of unexplained depression and had a manic-type episode as a result, but most of the time, it seems completely tied in with BPD.

I guess I just want an opinion. I know I can't expect a diagnosis, don't want one, but any opinions that you can come up with would be helpful and much appreciated.