I'm glad you're still not drinking. My experience tells me that if I'm feeling like crap & drink I only feel worse. Being drunk is a temporary escape, but it's a depressant. When I sobered up I just wound up feeling more depressed & out of sorts than before. I know it's difficult, but try to stay on the sober path. "Feeling like crap" will pass, but if you take that first drink it will set you back to where you started before. The longer you stay stopped the easier it is to stay sober. Again, PM me if you feel like taking that drink...I'm here to help.