Dear T,

I'm sorry. Sometimes you seem like a different person or I'm a different person. Or something. I told you I need continuity but I think you would give me what I need if it were possible...and I'm not getting continuity so does that mean its impossible? Or you think it's bad for me maybe.....eh. I don't know.

I don't think you know either. I think I brought you down the crazy rabbit hole that is in my head and you are like....whoa wtf?! Exactly,T! WTF? I allowed you in with the hopes you could help, but now I'm worried you hate it there and you wish I'd just sweep it up and leave it be. Like maybe you want to slam the door shut and have us both pretend I'm fine or we can focus on easy ****. I can't do that T. I'm looking for someone to be able to bear with it long enough to help me deal. I'm looking for someone to see how horrible and just grotesque I am and feel it with me. If you're scared, angry or tired of me then I need you to let me be. Just shut the door on your way out, please!