You say that you really don't need this yet you are here. By your words you seem to be in a place where you are reaching out. You need someone/something. I have been there-still there for the most part. I agree with the smiling-it is for others-if an ugly person puts makeup on to be pretty-are they pretty? same with the smile-you can do it but it doesn't change your inside. What do you need, how can we help?