How do you go on when everything you are, I mean the person you have become is not enough. You know, I always said that if I die now and there is some survey or even if someone just asks me what my thoughts are about life , this "gift" everyone is referring too? I would not hesitate to answer " I expected more". I mean the whole setup is just crazy. look at what is happening to people. for me all the bubbles are bursting. All the things you once thought as real is all a hoax.People don't care, nobody does. An I find myself thinking about getting out. I mean those people in burning buildings jump because they'd rather fall to their deaths than burn to death. I would never try to commit suicide again but I would really really love to get the hell out of here, I don't even care what comes next or not. I cannot do this anymore, the wonder the worry the why? i'm everything I shouldn't be. Life does not make sense, everyone else is just missing it for some reason. i'm not enough, and I think if i could meet myself now, i wouldn't like me. i also firmly believe everybody in my life will be better off without me. I hate life, i think it's cruel and unfair and i don't want anything to do with it anymore. I can't see any reason for staying, so I'm pretty sure Karma or Fate or God will make sure I will be suffering through this for a very long time. I must be worst than i thought I was to deserve all this.I mean i must be some sort of bad evil. i really really just want to go now, seriously, enough already. I feel so lonely, it's like screaming for help through a ten foot glass panel. scream all you want, they can't hear you, and even if they could. they wouldn't help. they have their own lives. the whole true love, happily ever after and best friends things are myths born of songs and movies. everyone wants it, but its just a man mad story, nothing about it is real. with all my heart i actually really hope nobody understands a word i just said, it would break my heart to think someone else out there feels the same. i would wish this on no-one. you guys are all i have, thanks for reading