Feeling sorry for myself today. Strange things set me off- like this thing with the NFL player coming out and now he's a hero and even got a call from the White House. I have no problem with gays- some of my best friends are gay. I believe in equal rights for all. But why can't I "come out" about my illness? I bet if he said "I'm bipolar" instead of "I'm gay", he wouldn't be a hero. He certainly wouldn't hear from the president, and he may not have been drafted. Why is that? And I'm told it's not my fault, but others judge. So I'm feeling sorry for myself today, that I have to hide who I am and how I feel every day. I have to lie about why I can't go to work sometimes or meet a friend or take on volunteer responsibilities. I have to sit at PTA meetings and with friends and family and smile and joke when all I want to do is cry and ask them for help. If I was gay, I may be a hero. But as bipolar, I'm just a sick, possibly dangerous, freak. So I'm sad and pathetic today.