I know staying away from SI is difficult when you have such thoughts all the time, yet you are doing so good at being successful and you know how to be successful. It sucks that these thoughts stay with us for so long despite not harming ourselves. I haven't harmed myself for over seven years now yet I still get the graphic images in my head at the weirdest times. the desire is still there. but as frank offered, I focus on my success instead of the desire. im tired of the scars and the shame so I continue to choose success instead. you can too. you have done it again and again. take care.