saw a pdoc last year. was diagnosed with bipolar and social phobia. was given lamictal (mood stabiliser for bipolar) and propranolol (beta blocker for anxiety) and I was so looking forward to going to sleep, being able to listen and talk, basically being a normal being..... but life without mania is so boring having to be in the real world and everything.

ive got ideas as to what to do with life but everything costs money and the bipolar never fully goes away. I can feel happy for some time, then awful but the real mania has gone for good. I just so miss the mania even tho life is safer without it.

I definitely don't want any further meds. does anyone else miss the mania? what did you do?