Just call 911, go to the ER, go from there.

The fact that you said "people i'm close to" means that they do care about your health and would rather see you getting help. They wouldn't feel awkward or bothered, they'd be happy to see you do the right thing.

I completely understand your confusion with emotions, I have struggled with that for a very long time. I am getting better slowly with help. You can do it too