I think the idea of using the images for creative purposes is a good one. If you begin to put these feelings into something tangible (painting, collage, pounding clay into shapes, ...) you may also find feelings/thoughts that you do not currently have access to...
[maybe a community ed program throwing pots/something both physical and creative. probably not something using sharp tools...] finger painting? using a wall in your house (closet?) as a canvas?
You have done well. You are doing well. You are tolerating formerly intolerable urges. It is clearly very painful at times, very hard to resist, but you are doing it.
Is there anything you do, or med you take, that can take the edge off long enough to get through? What are you doing now that allows you to resist acting on the urges? Can you build on that? Take care. Be proud of your self.