I wouldn't be ashamed about living with your parents, you're only 19. I don't know where you live but here in NJ, US it is VERY expensive and pretty much impossible to live on your own without at least a roommate, unless you have a fabulous job. It's also very difficult to find a liveable wage right out of high school. So don't shame yourself for that. I didn't move out til I was 21 and that was earliest among all my friends.

Life is not over just because of a BP dx. I was first dx'ed when I was 18. I dropped out of college after half a semester and spent a year in and out of the hospital (7 times total). When I was 19 I had ECT treatment done and it brought me out of the severe depressed episode. I was able to work through a lot of my trauma issues in therapy and I didn't need meds or therapy for another 7 years. I got through college, had a kid, got married, and started my career before another round of severe episodes happened (through that time I cycled but it was mild to moderate). Even through the debilitating depression and dangerous mania/mixed episodes I've had over the the last year, I still have my job and my family.

I've been helped by meds for the most part. I was helped immensely by group therapy in an IOP. And even though I have bad times I lead an overall normal life.

All is not lost. I would suggest maybe volunteering someplace until you get back on your feet. It will give you structure and it is also something that you can increase or decrease based on your mood.