Hi there, same here, 25 years married to a PA. Only I didn't know what was going on for the first two decades. Why I was in a rage so much of the time... It was so he could feel self righteous because "I don't have an anger problem..." No, he just procrastinated until I did, or forgot until I did, etc. On and on it went till God was kind enough to remove the scales from my eyes and I finally saw him for what he is.

Here is the strategy I developed so that I no longer rage or even feel the slightest discomfort because of him. I cut him out of my emotional life, I have a separate bedroom. I do not discuss anything of any importance with him. I DO NOT ask him to do anything because that gives him power to piss me off by not doing what he agrees to. I ignore him most of the time for my own satisfaction.

If I didn't live in a state which forces one to move out of the house to divorce it would have been done by now. But since for now I am stuck, I simply go on about my life and basically treat him like the child he is. Works for me!

HourHand