I hope you can get the social security. I know what it feels like to not be self sufficient, i'm on disability, sometimes i feel like i want to get a job, but i know with my mental status i would never be able to work again. I did volunteer at a nursing home one day a week for 2 years but then i couldn't even handle that and had to quit. I just wish also i could find a part time job somewhere but i also have no transportation and don't drive. Plus my mental status is always unpredictable to keep a steady job.