Hello Thomi! I'm brand new here too and I'm glad I found this forum.

I'm also BP II, rapid cycler. My short and sweet piece of advice is to just relax and ease into your feelings, because things will get better again! I cycle about once every four years, for several months, and wow is it a nightmare. I have to put everything on hold, which gets scarier as I get older. But it does taper off, and it's also easier every time. the nasty feelings become familiar and easier to cope with. Like, "oh, hey, crippling anxiety! i remember you, and last time I KICKED YOUR ***!" then, after tinkering with meds, therapy, and a real desire to get better, you do!

i find that when i'm really doing badly, like "i can't go on" badly, it's very helpful to micromanage. if you are overwhelmed at the thought of going to work in the morning, just concentrate on getting out of bed. then take a shower. then try making dinner.

it's a scary and difficult time, just take baby steps and don't panic (ha ha)!