New Working Policy

Effective from JANUARY 2007



Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.


Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.


Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturday & Sunday SOMETIMES .


Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken.
After your Second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.