I am a self sabotage victim. Mainly, it's out of fear of doing anything. But, I've also said things to drive people away even though I need friends. I don't feel comfortable with people so I drive them away. I really prefer being alone even though I am lonely.

Because I have no friends, I am very vulnerable socially. I don't bring anything to the table. I am shy and socially awkward. I don't have connections. A lot of people treat me badly and I don't know what to do about it. So, I just spend more time alone. Nothing works for me.

I also think that I subconsciously hate myself and that is another reason for the self sabotage. I hate being alive. I did not ask for this; living overwhelms me. Self-sabotage is my way of not dealing with things.