You are not stupid, or crazy. To me, the world is full of numb people that do not want to think about the non-sense of life. They give themselves cars, they watch tv, they buy into the mundane objectives and goals somebody else has set up, who knows where and when, so things keep rolling. You are not a fool because you think it is not enough, there is depression and there is society pressure, but also there is the legitimate awareness about wtf is this all about. I think you are more alive than many people i know, i think at the end of the day it is better but for sure it hurts a lot