Hi, is there one corner of your life you can really take control of, make it your own, fill it with what YOU want. Do something YOU want to do just for YOU, get away from everything else.
Now these may be out there and maybe you can substitute things of your own but.....finding a activity/passion?........starting a college course/night classes?...........allocating specific times to spend with particular family members/friends?.....?
Sounds like you haven't told your spouse how you're feeling though?? Maybe, however right you might be about them being concerned, they may be able to give you some real support, maybe?
And your health team are there to support you, do you think you could tell them a bit more about how you're feeling. It really doesn't have to be that you are heading straight back to where you were before. Times can sometimes get hard (from time to time) after where you've been/what you've been through, but if you reach for the help you need and you're really supported, things can get easier.
You have done so well in the past, you have it in you!!
Alison