Oh, C.... hugs.

I understand, somewhat.....I have four. They were older...but I still hated not being able to explain...after all it's inexplicable.

When you are in optimum health, a 2 year old (most years, really) are absolutely exhausting...And depression is exhausting. And I understand the innate need to put your daughter first.

So....she is first in your life, to your detriment. Under the circumstances, you can only put her first by putting you away....I get it....

For me personally, I couldn't balance. I was last, no question. A very bad thing to professionals, but it's what I could do and what I wanted to do at the time. Very self-destructive....

If you have help, or can get help, you need to recharge your batteries.....

This is simply my opinion and I hope to read others, but when with your own children, there is no balance.
You need an hour or two, or an evening, or whatever you can get to be alone. It goes against our "mom-ness" and can lead to guilt. But it is a medical necessity.

I hope someone else can chime in....and I hope that I make some sense....