Hi, if your spouse over reacts when you talk to her do you think you could tell her clearly what you would really like from her to support you??
And maybe if she realized that things for you aren't quite the way she is "perceiving" them then that might help her approach to you?? Of course, that's going to need a bit more communication, but maybe if she knew the "full story" or as close as you can get she might be a bit more understanding??
As for the taking control of something, that doesn't have to mean you're stepping on anyone's toes. You're entitled to some "you" time as much as anyone else, and surely no-one can/should complain about you expressing your individuality. It's maybe as much finding a route for that?? So interests? Passions? Goals?
But if what you're thinking of does involve stepping on someone's toes then that doesn't necessarily mean that it shouldn't be done Maybe question some pro's and con's??
Alison