My username was a spur of the moment thing. I was desperate at 3AM, and it occured to me that there must be others like me online somewhere... hopefully, who could relate.

I found this site. I'm TERRIBLE at coming up with creative ideas on the spot, and to be honest... my chest hurt so much from sadness, I just couldn't see past my pain. I figured some one else probably already came up with painful... I figured a variation on spelling would be the easiest solution.

It didn't even occur to me until I hit "submit" that it paynful, also, looked like pay-in-full. At that point... I thought, "Oh well... too late now."