I just want to know how do I get to like myself.I always had low self esteem.I always thought I was ugly now I think I am fat and ugly.I am 306 lbs currently and I am trying to lose weight by doing Focus T25, weight lift and recumbent bike.I am trying to lose weight to see if it will help with my self esteem.I was talking to my step sister the other day and she said I was being a insecure *****.Apparently she does not know how it feel to be like me.Later she did say that I had a good personality and good sense of humor and the only thing I am clinging onto is the insecure ***** part.Its like she don't care about me.I was told if I don't like myself then other people wont either but I don't know how to and I can't afford to see a therapist.I have no job.I have never had a girlfriend and I hadn't had a friend since 2002 and I am 32 years old.I live near Albany, Ga and I don't think there is any places around here to meet people.I was bullied in High School and military school and now I just really hate myself and I don't know how to fix it.I have never liked my self and the only good things that are said about me is that I have a good personality and good sense of humor but I don't think that is good enough if I want to find a girlfriend since I am morbidly obese.People tell me that they went out with a fat person but that is not me so I have never had a girl to like me ever.I had a friend that went with the girl that he knew I liked behind my back and I found out about by she calling me one day and told me about it.I though they were my friends and cared about but they didn't.I haven't heard from them since and she moved out of state.I just don't think it worth find friends or gf since all they gonna do is use me.My friend that I had last I heard was in jail and I heard he stole a check from his granddad and he years ago stole money out of my checking account from when I was bootcamp.It just seems like everything in my life that happened to me is negative.I don't see the positive.I am a really negative person and I see negative in stuff and not the positives.I wish I could become a positive person and I dont know how to do it.I dont go out anywhere I stay in my room 99 percent of the time.I just hope I can change one day.