Hi, I've got to agree that it sounds like you do really need to make a clean break to be able to move on. While you're still in contact I'm guessing your thoughts about her are going to still be focused quite a bit on the possibility it could be more/could have been more, the fact that she isn't in your life and the breakup?? That's a lot to be putting yourself through.
And I'd say, you've been through enough pain and you really do DESERVE to move on now.
Now you tried hard with the relationship, you gave it your best, you did all you could so now it's time to allow yourself the chance (given time) to find someone else who will really be there, right alongside you through "thick and thin".
And it all begins with starting to really let go.
Alison