I was scared you would judge me and blame me for that thing I told you about. I blame myself. I feel so ashamed by it, and that makes it hard to talk about. I wish we had spent more time talking about the shame, but I didn't focus on that when I was talking about it. So how could you know that was a major part of this? And honestly, until you reacted like you did, I didn't think anything bad about how I was treated because of it. Of course it was my fault, so why shouldn't I be spanked? I just feel so crushed and terrified by the shame I feel.