Thank you, pinksoil.

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I told him it was like putting a big, black streak over a perfect painting. That it was too risky for me.

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What did he say when you told him that?

We never got to that point. I told him a lot of stuff but we didn't really discuss why I hadn't told him before. I feel really, really rattled by this. I feel like I've wrecked our relationship and it will never be the same. At the same time, I feel very self-indulgent and selfish for thinking that, as there are critical problems to solve in my life that impact others, and I can't sit around bemoaning the loss of a relationship with some guy I pay every week to talk to me.