Maybe I am naive in my views. If I self sabotage like I stay up too late knowing the next day will be hard, I think about why do I stay up? Because I want the next day to be hard? No... it is not my intent. I stay up because my head finally settled and because I finally got some peace and I don't want to miss that moment by going to bed.

In the long run, it is better I go to bed when I should, still I find some understanding why I did the thing that made things go not so well. For me it is important to understand I'm not a machine that spits out negative behavior because.. of nothing.