Quote:
Originally Posted by unguy
I am a self sabotage victim. Mainly, it's out of fear of doing anything. But, I've also said things to drive people away even though I need friends. I don't feel comfortable with people so I drive them away. I really prefer being alone even though I am lonely.
Because I have no friends, I am very vulnerable socially. I don't bring anything to the table. I am shy and socially awkward. I don't have connections. A lot of people treat me badly and I don't know what to do about it. So, I just spend more time alone. Nothing works for me.
I also think that I subconsciously hate myself and that is another reason for the self sabotage. I hate being alive. I did not ask for this; living overwhelms me. Self-sabotage is my way of not dealing with things.
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I didn't see your post when I wrote mine. It was not about you, but a time in my life when I did that. I'm back now to read all the post, I only had a few moments and just read the first couple and wanted to share what I was thinking before I forgot. I hope you didn't see it as criticism of your post.
I do believe that it is driven by fear. Ironically when my PTSD was at it's worse my fear dominated me so much I pushed away they very people who wanted to help.