Hi WinterRose, I found it very interesting that you feel you are between a rock and a hard place by becoming your real self. But I do remember how scary and yes, depressing, it was at first as I was learning to do that. So many people around me that I loved and cared about did not feel the same about me unless I would not rock the boat - not get healthy, not change, not try to work on my depression. It was very discouraging at first. And very lonely.

But after going through the process of becoming me for years now, and getting alot of experience at being and meeting my true self, I would not live any other way. I couldn't. The price is too high. I find it's like a snake shedding it's skin. For a while there's just this dead empty thing there, and I felt so alone. But as I held to my courage and kept working on my recovery I found other people who did like the new me. I have much more satisfying relationships now.

So while it might feel like you are between a rock and a hard place, you aren't. It's a process that if you continue with, no matter how scary or lonely you get, will take you to meet your real self. When you know you, then other's can get to know the real you, and love the real you, too. You sound like you are well on your way. Keep seeking wisdom!