It wasn't for more attention, it was to rationalize why I couldn't trust any one and allow me to isolate more. It was a curious state to be in, my anxiety would go up around people but down when I was alone, but I needed justification to explain to others why I wanted to be alone. Back then none of this was a conscious decision, it was just reaction. It wasn't until I received therapy from T who understood PTSD that I began to see what I was doing. I look back now and it seems clear, but at the time it was me poking the bear, and then saying see I deserve to be alone nobody likes me. It was totally out of character for me to be acting that way and a lot of friends were hurt that I didn't want to be around them. I suppose it might be called a coping method, but at the time I was telling the T see no body likes me, I should be a hermit. But it was fear that ruled me, and the desire to avoid the anxiety. I don't know if this is making thing any clearer of if I'm just muddling it up.