I know how you feel and have been at that point myself. It soon before I made the decision to stop completely and sought help. It was a point for me where I still wanted to give in and had all of the urges but was able to fight them off at that last second. Sometimes I still gave in but most of the time at that last minute I was able to rationalise why I shouldn't give in.

It's great that you have been able to resist . I also definitely understand the worry about doing something worse to try and cope, and unfortunately it often does get worse before it gets better but if you rely on your other ways of coping and the supportive people around you it is possible.