First of all, no matter what you felt at the time or the way your body reacted this is not your fault. At that age children don't often understand what is happening and their bodies react positively because of the hormones and natural reactions. That doesn't mean that you were in the wrong in any way. No-one should ever be put in that kind of situation until they can give informed consent. At that young age children don't have enough understanding to do that.

I'm sorry you experienced so much bullying as well. Kids can be so cruel sometimes but it should never happen.

I would definitely say you have experienced sexual abuse. While it is tricky with kids who perpetrate and whether they are in the 'wrong' it still isn't any less traumatic for the survivor. Those incidents often do shape us in some way and may have contributed to your views and emotions now but often we never know. All of us are a weird, wacky combination of genetics and environmental factors

If you are having ongoing negative emotions or reactions I would really suggest you consider speaking with a therapist if you haven't already. It can be very confusing and complicated, especially for survivors of childhood abuse, to come to terms with what happened. As you become comfortable and are able to talk about it more a good therapist may be able to help you explore what happened in more detail and find ways to move forward.

Also, it seems like this may be one of the first times you have talked about the abuse. That is an amazing step and should be recognised. I know it can't be easy to write about those experiences. But it is a great step forward. It's in the open - it's not just your secret burden to carry. In time, it does get easier to begin to talk about more details and can be a very healing experience to let some of it off your shoulders.